Prepare for an object lesson in why I despise the modern Church. It ain’t because I want to. In fact, I was excited to discover there’s a pledge getting circulated in which pastors promise to never quarantine-lockdown their churches again. Sweet repentance bring it on!
h ttps://acts529.com
During the recent COVID-19 “pandemic,” representatives who were elected to secure our God-given rights, clearly transgressed their lawful authority in executive action that prohibited public meetings or mandated the wearing of masks and “social distancing.” God’s word directs us “not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together.” (Hebrews 10:25) This verse is a Divine injunction.
We must obey God rather than the arbitrary decrees of men.
As a national coalition of pastors and churches, we reject any Presidential or gubernatorial decree requiring us to disobey the word of God. We will resist any attempt by a Federal, state or local official to restrict or prohibit the free exercise of our Religion or place restrictions thereon…
We do not need the permission of civil authorities to obey what God has commanded, nor does the Church need the approval of civil authorities to serve and worship our God in the way he has prescribed.
YAY! The pledge goes on, it’s too wordy by half and three-quarters, but there’s some fire in those words! Naturally, I looked at the California signers to get a clue if there’s a Based church in my area.
KELLY SEPULVEDA
RESTORE CHURCH IN TORRANCE, CALIFORNIA
What, a female pastor? *checks* Dunno who Kelly is, but Restore Church is led by Tim Smith… whew… oh wait, his wife Karlene is co-pastor. Ugh, talk about getting your hopes up.
KATHLEEN JACOBSMEYER-GUZZETTA
ST ANDREW NEWMAN CENTER IN RIVERSIDE, CALIFORNIA
Females… don’t be a trend.
ALEXANDER STEINWACHS
THERIVER IN OAKDALE, CALIFORNIA
Whew! 1 for 3. Wait… Steinwachs isn’t clergy there, either. Dunno who he is.
CYNTHIA VILLWOCK
CALVARY CHAPEL IN CHINO HILLS IN CHINO HILLS, CALIFORNIA
TARA REINHART
SUNRISE COMMUNITY CHURCH IN SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA
JEFFERY LEBOWSKI
THE TEMPLE OF THE HOLY DUDERINO IN SANTA MONICA, CALIFORNIA
Probably a joke… but it does sound like Santa Monica…. *checks* It’s one thread on Reddit. I’d hoped for at least a surfer gang.
I find thee a false church and sentence thee to thine image being appropriated for meme usage… in perpetuity.
GALE HUNT
CALVARY CHAPEL OF LAKE ARROWHEAD IN LAKE ARROWHEAD, CALIFORNIA
She’s not just a witch, she’s a District Director in the CFRW Coven: the California Federation of Republican Women. Slogan: “Vote harder if you want your birthday sex.”
KAREN CONTRERAS
CALVARY CHAPEL CHINO HILLS IN FONTANA, CALIFORNIA
DEBBIE MCCAUGHEY
CATHOLIC IN RED BLUFF, CALIFORNIA
Not a church.
STEVE LINDGREN
N/A IN TAFT, CALIFORNIA
Not a church.
HEINZ SIMONEIT
REDDING LUTHER CHURCH IN REDDING, CALIFORNIA
I can’t find that church, either. Simoneit is at least male and I got several links offering his criminal record, so maybe he signed this notice of defiance with serious intent. Or, he’s trying to get free advertising. Either way, dead end.
LORI HOYE
ISSUES4LIFE FOUNDATION IN UNION CITY, CALIFORNIA
Not a church. Blacktivist.
MERLENE WADE
VALLEY. BABTIST IN BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA
Valley Baptist has male clergy and no Merlene Wade officer. She’s probably an attender; aged in her sixties per Internet searches. Not a legit signage.
GAYLE GARRETSON
CHURCH OF CHRIST IN PORTERVILLE, CALIFORNIA
Unsure if church exists, and Gayle doesn’t turn up as clergy in searching.
DAN LARSON
ST. ROSE IN TEMPLETON, CALIFORNIA
Unsure about Larson, but this church at least exists. Catholic, alas for me.
MARILYN PALMER
MARY STAR OF THE SEA IN LAJOLL, CALIFORNIA
Also real and Catholic.
So, of 16 signed churches in California:
6 are feminist
5 don’t exist
2 are Catholic, not signed by clergy
3 are Protestant, not signed by clergy
0 seem legit.
This list is not complete, obviously. I know Grace Community Church in Los Angeles and Calvary Chapel San Jose defied the first lockdown and thus are likely to defy a second. Let me give a shout-out to Pastor Mike McClure of the latter for standing against some massive pressures, including seven-digit fines, for the horrifically irresponsible act of holding a maskless indoor service on Christmas Eve 2020. A big congratulations, Mike, on winning the subsequent court battle! You rock!
God: “Why should I let you into My home?”
Mike: “They ordered me to close Your church and I refused. Then they punished me for my loyalty to You but I stood my ground. Then they took me to court and I stood my ground again, and won a valuable precedent for other churches wanting to do right by You.”
San Jose Official: “I missed the chance to throw your human parents out into the cold, so I did it to your followers instead when they tried to celebrate your birthday. I called it a health guideline so you aren’t allowed to disagree. Who died and made you God, anyway?”
Christ Jesus: “Over here, yo.”
The problem with the list is it’s just a publicity stunt. No enforcement. No quality control. How hard would it be, to proofread a thousand-church list to screen out the N/As and Duderinos? It’s all fake and gay, and who let the women in? Maybe it’s already been abandoned. It could have been a valuable guide for dissident Christians, but it’s so badly implemented that it’s less than useless. It’s a joke, yet high-profile enough that I saw it on Blaze News.
What’s the difference between a Godly man searching for a half-decent church, and a homeless man dumpster diving for a half-decent meal? I don’t know. Both are all about rooting through garbage.
I decided to check the list for Mennonites. The Mennonites as a national denomination were captured years ago. Wikipedia recounts the Lancaster Mennonite Conference’s response to this:
Not a single church from the conference of the faithful Mennonites is on the list, but I did find this:
Oh dear. This can’t be good.
Uh. Cat lady, unmarried, lives with grandson, doesn’t like to cook. On the staff, not the pastor (both men) and not even the worship leader (“pastor of worship”) who happens to be a woman.
What else?
Sounds more promising. Mennonite church near Harrisonburg, so in one of the Mennonite heartlands. Let’s check the website for the ministry team:
Meh. It is all men, but Dale isn’t one of the clergy.
And lastly:
Woman. Not a church.
Great research again, thank you.
Your rhetorical question, “It’s all fake and gay and who let the women in?” Real answer, the modern church you despise.
They all swallowed standpoint theory while being ignorant of it. Like a corporation or the GOP, they think having women leaders is a benefit-only action. “Hey, if the media and demoncrats win by identity politics and we get demonized by it, then we’ll play the same game. After all, only talent matters and the Bible believers don’t offer pushback so there must not be a spiritual prohibition or wisdom, so what cost is there in putting forward more Sarah Palins, Nikki Haleys, school principals, CDC heads, governors, etc.? We get more credibility and less criticism- wins all around.”